Thursday, July 23, 2009

Back to Work

I know that I need to post about the end of therapy and such but for now it is back to work.

Yesterday was my first day back at the bank. I worked 4 hours and it was good. I easily feel back into routine. I remembered the programs and what information needed to be in what computer fields. Today I am back in for another 4 hours. Next week I work 4 hours and the following week I work 6 hours and then back to full-time.

On saturday Joyce (my mother-in-law) took me shopping for back to work clothing. We went to Penningtons and bought $250 worth of clothes for $110! I love sales! I want to go back to pick a few other things.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Week 18

I will eventually go back and change the date of this.

Week 18 was HARD. I never really expected to make it this far. I kept thinking I would drop out. It was so hard to say good-bye to friends. On the last day I asked everyone to wear purple (my favourite colour). One of the "new" girls said she felt like we were a gang because a bunch of my friends did wear purple. My last day was horrible with this whole "gang" thing. I felt like crying.

I broke rules and met up with one of the girls for lunch, two others were invited but they didn't show up. Oh well.

I learned a lot about myself during therapy, the most important is that I am doing the best that I can. I need to stop trying to live up to some ideal image that I have in my mind and just do my best. I feel a lot more calmer with Robbie and for the most part I am more patient with him.

I am taking things one step at a time.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Weeks 13 - 17

I talked about how much I wanted another baby but I was questioning why I wanted another baby. I suggested that due to how things worked out with Robbie I might want a "do-over". When I said that I was immediately jumped upon by one of the guys in group telling me "to NEVER have another baby!" I was so upset, I was finally opening up about something that means a big deal to me and to have some jerk beat me up about it was so hard. One of the girls agreed with him. I felt so hurt and misunderstood. Of course I didn't mean that I wouldn't love another child, or that I would love a new baby more then Robbie. There are just things that I wished had been different. I didn't really get to enjoy being pregnant with Robbie once the gall stones started to give me problems. Since he was so small and had breast-feeding issues I didn't really get to breast feed. Is it so bad to want another baby and see if things are different?

Eventually both the jerks apologized. I really felt like telling them that they had no idea what they were talking about with both of them being childless. Especially the woman who doesn't want kids because she is afraid of blood...